Insights from The Deep

How Many Angels?


A One-Day Angel-Seeking Oddysey
 
I have been a spiritual explorer for more than 30 years, and yet, my heart still beats a little faster when I come across mystical or spiritual philosophies that are new to me. Except... here's the thing... in all these years, something that should not be new to me actually IS! I cower very low when I admit this, but I have never made peace with the Angelic Realms. Everyone loves Angels! How could I not love them? 

 
I pondered this recently when I visited the local surfing break. I go there often when I want to have a strong conversation with the Mother of Water, the mighty ocean. The beach (or any place where there is moving water) is a powerful place to meditate, pray, and think. We can easily gain clarity when we are near water. I was genuinely puzzled that day, and I breathed deeply so I could take in the powerful pranic breath of the sea. Water is my greatest healer and teacher; so I asked how I might include Angels or the Angelic path in my spiritual work when I wasn't sure I was a believer myself.

 

It takes courage to believe in something so much you don't ask for proof... and
it takes courage to disbelieve something to the point where
you are left dangling alone on your own convictions.

 

I didn't hear an answer because I got distracted watching a young teen girl trying to surf in some very rough water. She was caught in a rip tide and could not get to shore no matter how hard she tried, often being held beneath the surface for an agonizing length of time. I silently prayed to Mother Water asking that she take care of the young woman. 

As I stood in the mist of the pounding surf, my mind kept coming back to the subject of Angels. Soon, I found myself "seeing" Angel wings in the ocean waves, and wing shapes in the sand with shells and rocks. I realized I was feeling something important about Angels, but I did not know what to ask or how to be with those realizations. I stayed wide open, and let my mind chase meaning.

An Angelic Visitation
When I was 12 years old, I experienced something that scared me out of my wits. As I froze in fear, something (someone?) comforted me and took me out of harm's way. I want to say it was just my imagination, but honestly, I am not sure. I never knew anything about Angels then, and I still don't know much about Angels now. But there was that unexplained vaporous white arm that reached around my shoulders; and that soft gentle voice in my mind that assured me I was going to be okay. There was the gentle nudge that moved me quickly to another place; and when it was over, there was a gap in my memory for some time after I had been "saved." Throughout the years, I have asked myself, "Did an Angel really save my life?" My memory is frozen in my 12-year-old mind. She remembers clearly what happened, but she can't explain it. My adult mind wants to use logic to explain it as an "overactive imagination." And both possibilities still exist simultaneously for me whenever I recall that day.

Back at the beach ...
As the entire Angel memory came flooding back to me, I stood watching, still pondering why the teen girl was not being helped by her Guardian Angel. Obviously, she was in dire straights, and obviously, she didn't want to be there, or so it seemed. I prayed continually for her safe return to the sand because I was afraid to experience a tragedy. For her, it may have only been an exciting challenge for which she would have bragging rights later. 

Whichever dynamic was happening, I felt it was time to ask for Angelic intervention, but I just couldn't do it. I think a person has to believe something with their whole heart in order to also believe their prayers will be answered. I was not in a position to work with Angelic energies because I could not get my head around the logic or the mysticism. I felt stuck in that mindset, and a bit helpless.

I accept the notion that trauma is an important part of a life journey, and what we do with it is our soul work. I wonder still, however, if the Angels stand watching just long enough to let us learn something important before they rush in? Maybe this was the same reason why the Surfer Girl was still battling the waves. Maybe her challenges were teaching her something important and maybe her own Guardian Angel was actually standing very close to her during her time in the water. Maybe the Angels were keeping her reasonably safe even though it appeared she was in eminent danger. And maybe, just maybe, she KNEW the Angelic Realms protected her. This was a huge revelation to me. Maybe at that point, I was standing in my own fear, in my own confusion, and an Angel was standing by me while I came to my own conclusions. Challenges take many forms, not just physical but also emotional or spiritual.

I am sure you remember that age-old spiritual phrase,"You have to believe it before you see it?" Well, I had skirted around an important spiritual teacher and ally for most of my life because I didn't believe in Angels and I wanted to see evidence first. Yet, here I was, asking Mother Water for some kind of Angelic intervention so I could know Angels do exist, all the while, remembering that I experienced one such intervention many years ago. 

How many Angels does it take
to know we are always guided and protected by Angels? 

For some, it takes only one incident. For others, like me, it takes a few sightings and experiences to open my skeptical mind to other dimensions. But once I am open, I become a 100% believer. This was the way with the actual spiritual form of water. Once I experienced it a few times, I knew I would forever trust the messages and wisdom. It takes real courage to believe in something so much you no longer ask for proof, AND it takes courage to disbelieve something to the point where, even if proof appears, we choose disbelief and we are left dangling with our own convictions. What if we chose wrong?  What if something terrible happens because we didn't trust? But what if we are saved and never have to experience danger, tragedy, confusion, or other such challenges? What if a "good life" is more than luck, but constant intervention by Angels? I thought about how much I might have learned from hard situations and whether I would have also learned as much if I didn't use my creativity to solve the problems. At what point did I surrender and endure the consequences because I did it my way? I knew this was going to be a tough contemplation with Angels and other Spirits dancing around me - likely so small they all fit on the head of a pin!

 Fast forward to the surfer girl

So there I was, walking the beach, asking for proof of Angels and reasons why I should even believe in them even though I already had some kind of proof I didn't accept. The truth is, I was still testing. Now, as I looked at the water, I felt a gentle presence surround me. As I attempted to figure it out, I experienced  an "a-ha moment." Whether we choose to believe in Angels - or not they are still doing their work just like any other spiritual deity. They neither correct our assumptions nor alter our thinking about this; and it really doesn't matter. To believe or not to believe is perfectly alright. 

When I arrived back at the point, the young woman was drifting toward an outcropping of rocks, and I feared she would get slammed against them with the next set of pounding waves. This time I prayed differently, "Please Angel of The Water, give this courageous surfer girl a wave she can ride home safely."

As I returned to the parking lot, I heard loud yelling on the beach. I hurried over to the cliff railing, fearing the worst, but receiving joyous news. People were cheering for the girl, who actually did catch a big wave and rode it to the sand. Any chance her Angel may have intervened? Or my Angel? I don't know, but as I got ready to step into my car, I looked on the ground and there was a silver coin that looked like a quarter, so I bent down and scooped it up.

It was no quarter. It was an Angel Blessing Coin. I had not seen one of those in decades and I am positive this coin wasn't there when I got out. I would have seen it. The coin had been carefully placed so I could not miss seeing it.

My connection to Angels just became real to me for the very first time.

 Angels instead of lunch

I decided to head downtown, where I could get lunch and see new things. I had recently moved to this community, and there were still many places to explore. Of course, parking was non-existent... until, right in front of me a space opened up. What luck! As I nosed my car into the space, and looked up to see where I was, I noticed a tiny little storefront, not wider than the doorway itself. On the door it said, "Things from Heaven, an Angel Store." Oh good gosh! This was too much of a coincidence, don't you think?!!! The coin, and now this? But, since I was there to see new things, I decided to go in.

 

Every square inch of the store was filled to capacity with Angel gifts, books, paintings, statues, stickers, jewelry, and cards. I felt a little uneasy with all of the ornate renditions of Angel art staring at me. All these images didn't look at all what I "felt" an Angel looks like. Every period of organized religion was represented in the merchandise and it was hard to sort it all out. I had a hard time looking at most of it because it was just too, too much. It was then I realized that billions of people actually think angels look like these exaggerated, dramatic renditions; and this is what they relate to when they think about Angels. 

In that moment I understood why I had turned away from Angels all these years. None of the merchandise I saw looked remotely like the Angelic energies I had experienced as a child. Because I never saw a cute, cartoonish flutter-by, or a glamorous Winged-Woman, I did not believe I had an Angelic experience. As an adult, I turned away from most of these Angel depictions because they were too guilded, too pretty, too bejeweled, too halo'd, and entirely too "sweet." And especially, too UNREAL to me. Now I understood ...  I had rejected Angels because all the ways humans portray Angels look unreal to me. Basically, I had eliminated a spiritual path mainly because the imagery turned me away. Boy! Was I wrong. I would soon find out why. Up to this point, I had been judgmental and uppity about what kind of images I would embrace. I had not allowed images like those in the store to have a place in my consciousness. Instead of thinking of the goodliness, I had stopped believing in Angels because I had been an art snob!

As I made my way toward the back of the store,  I headed for an open door, and it lead into a meeting room or a gallery. The light was off, but I entered anyway hoping for a little open space to collect my thoughts.

 Immediately I felt a brilliant glow of light emanating from one of the walls. I went directly toward a large painting that seemed to give off an appealing, curious light. I figured it was maybe a black light painting or something like that. As I got ready to put my hand on the painting, I felt strong heat, not comfortable, but a buzzing warning energy. I quickly turned around and smacked into the proprietor who was right behind me. He laughed at my need to touch the painting (and get away from it) and the painting's need NOT TO BE TOUCHED!  He commented that this happens all the time.

"I'm guessing you found a parking place right in front of the store, right?" he asked with a playful grin.

Beaming broadly, he explained that his store was never supposed to be an Angel Store, but it evolved that way through various circumstances, and for 20 years it has been a haven for people who need the spiritual support of Angels. The artist who created the glowing painting had sold his Angel paintings out of this back room gallery for years. The owner also said when a person finds a parking space, miraculously in front of their store, it is because an Angel made it happen. Hmmm......But why me, I asked politely? He said the answers would come.

 



Be careful what you ask for
I began to feel a little weak and shaky. I mentioned I should leave. On the contrary, the proprietor said. I was exactly in the right place. The painting that attracted me had been painted by Andy Lakey, a former drug abuser who had overdosed and "died," but was given a second chance by his Guardian Angel. He promised to paint 2000 Angel paintings and devote the rest of his life to Angels if he was allowed to live. He was never an artist, but he painted Angels in an abstract form using raised paint lines and bright or mystical color schemes. This was one of his last paintings. He had passed away and now his Angel paintings have become extremely valuable all over the world. The one I wanted to touch was valued at over $15,000 and had been promised to a Japanese collector. I didn't know anything about Angel art, or the artist, but I knew it had some powerful magnetic resonance that pulled me into the store and made me enter that back room.  I instantly realized Andy Lakey's paintings were an answer to my confusion about how Angels should look. They should look precisely like the artist FEELS.

Astonishingly, in the corner of the room was a shrine plastered with more than 25,000 Post-It notes with prayers and blessings left by visitors throughout the years. BELIEVERS! 25,000 people had made their beliefs visible. I was humbled by the display. I could feel the energy buzzing all around that corner, and it was like no other psychic energy I have ever felt. There was such comfort and love.

All the way home I had an urge to draw or paint ocean waves. When I got home, I got right to it. Over and over I drew waves; but the drawings began to morph, and the waves began to take on a different look and feel. One "wave" stood out and looked almost human in a ghostly way. Soon, I added a little color to it, gave it a face, some hair and an arm. I believed I was drawing a spiritual image of Mother Ocean, but as I worked the chalk, the image transformed before my eyes. It was definitely an Angel and not an ocean wave. Not a traditional Cherubic or Religious Angel, either. No ornaments, no halos, no wings... but a wispy, fluid, liquid, misty Angel. And then she spoke.

 "In order to reach many types of people with your offerings, you have to give them something they accept without doubt. I am here to serve that need. Use me to bless water and many more people will believe."

  Here it was! The possibility of working with Angels was exactly what I had asked my guides to help me with earlier in the day. I continued to work on the drawing, and as I did, blessing words came to mind. I realized I was not only making an Angel drawing, but I was creating another Water Blessing Collection for The Spirit of Water.  By the time I was finished that day, I had not only drawn the Angel image, (shown at the top) but channeled messages and prayers through a powerful spiritual force.  When I was finished there was an Angelic Message for each of the blessing words. For the back of the packaging card, "they" had guided me to share all the ways Angels appear in our lives. It all happened so fast. 

From skeptic to believer... 0% to 100% in a day.

My biggest mistake through the years of spiritual expansion was failing to include something as profound as the Angelic Realms in my awareness. My second biggest mistake was to reject all the commercialized Angel depictions and thereby reject Angels in general. I guess I thought Angels were just another story like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. When people said I should believe, I found myself alone - NOT BELIEVING any of it because of appearances. I learned a lot that day. Angels now make sense to me. They are a different form of energy. They are soft, gentle, and protective; and completely unconditional in their love. They bring us messages, and offer needed assistance when we ask. For me, the energy feels like a Mother's love.  I am a newbie Angel believer and I feel the excitement of a new spiritual expansion.

As we reach for new insights to expand our awareness, we are met with all forms and versions of Love on the planet. It is up to us to see the beauty and value of each - and accept or reject based on wisdom, not prejudice. If we can just pry open stuck doorways to our inner world, we just may find beautiful and valuable new ways to Love ourselves and others.